image - JOE M500
I had this image of how my life would change when I decided to live more deliberately, cut back and acquire some homemaking skills. This image I had of things did not include a massively large pile of dirty laundry, dirty dishes piled up, no food in the pantry and a frazzled me. But that's what I've gotten. I naively assumed I would just fall right into cooking all my meals, using fresh and ethical ingredients, of course. And I also assumed that all my other goals would fall right into place behind the cooking. Instead, it's like my life has exploded. I am completely overwhelmed and behind in everything and I've become utterly discouraged over the last couple of weeks. I've fallen back into eating whatever's easiest - usually takeout. The laundry and dishes have piled up from my attempt to use less disposables. I completely underestimated the amount of energy and self-discipline, not to mention time-management (not my strong suit at ALL) that it would take to change to and maintain the lifestyle I want for myself.
Despite feeling overwhelmed and discouraged, I also feel more strongly than ever that this is the path that is right for me. So what am I to do? I need my sanity, but I very much want to forge ahead with my lifestyle changes. I have decided that for the time being, I will rely somewhat on prepared foods to supplement the meals I cook. This will cut down on the time neccessary for planning and prep of meals. I will also cut back on making new recipes (or complicated old ones). I will not undertake any organizing or extra chores if I haven't been able to complete my regular chores. Basicall, I am reigning myself in.
The main reason I wanted to make these changes in the first place was to adopt a lifestyle that reflects my values and that is more fulfilling to me. But by taking on too much, too soon, I have sucked the enjoyment and satisfaction out of the process and I have managed to end up worse off than I was before I started. The ladies I look to for guidance and inspiration make it all look so easy. But it's a lot of hard work and it's going to take more time than I thought. I must learn to practice patience and take smaller steps.